If you see me cry, don’t ask me what’s wrong. Just hug me.
(Source: mahalkitax3)
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{crazy! 500 piece puzzle :) after 2 nights, im done.
nothing beats the feeling of gladness in finding the last piece of puzzle that will complete the picture.
Isn’t it amazing how God destined that “one person” out of billions who will make us feel complete? ♥ just sayin’ teehee ^__^
{listening to the scientist by coldplay and it goes…
♫ ♪ nobody said it was easy.. :/
yeah right.
I’m working on a 500 piece puzzle, I had to pause for a while because the clouds are all in blue and my eyeballs are about to cross >.<
#crazyjigsawpuzzle
{Yummy dinner Wiener Schnitzel at Vienna Kaffeehaus ^____________^ nummm!
I always forget how much I wanted to be thin whenever I enter this restaurant. The food they have is so good, you’d always have the craving to eat meat. :D
Oh well. Can’t wait to be in my 30’s and go out and eat sometime with old friends or have an alone time and a cup of coffee and a slice of cake over at Vienna’s :))
lifebeyondgrace asked: hello beautiful creation of God just wanna say thank you so much for following :)) Godbless. keep on blogging and on glorifying God as well. ♥ He loves you.
awwwe.. so sweet! <3 you’re welcome! continue to inspire people with your blog too! thanks for the follow.
{I used to want to be a photographer but lost it for many reasons. Well, I can say that I still like to shoot these days but not that hungry and eager anymore. So yeah, maybe someday! We’ll never know!
We can always be what we want to be. I think there is so much to explore and discover in this world. Trying to figure out what we really want to do would never be wrong as long we do what we can to make it happen without hurting ourselves and everyone else in the process of making it happen.
I also think I have so much to learn in this life. hahaaays. :(
No good?
I have always felt I lack a certain something. It’s just that when I start pointing it out the list will become endless. I guess. There are times when I feel like this. When I feel like I suddenly get lost in a crowd or in the flow of people. I feel my world suddenly stop and everyone leaving me behind.
Although I have been convinced all my life that I have fully recovered from the fact that my father suddenly left the ship who’s supposedly the captain of it. Oh well, so much for blaming and resentment.
I do not really blame him for what I am today, apart from genetic heredity which I know I would not exist and look what I look now without him.
I am fully convinced that this me, a product of my mama’s super disciplinary action for me to be in the right path, my siblings awesome love and support, my community’s efforts to be peaceful, my academic institution who have opened my mind to ideas, my bubbly friends and the people I’ve met. And of course plus my own choice of a personality that is so ineffable for words. Well yes. I think we all have been created unique and equally complex. It’s just that our complexities are not all the same.
Going back to my father, it’s just so surprising that I can’t totally describe how I feel for him. Maybe I have heard it all, the stories about him I grew up with, all the sufferings my mom endured in bringing up a family with nocaptain as I like to think of it. I think all that time he was plainly being himself. He did not follow what the society expects him to. He did not care what his wife felt. Nor the possibilities of the children growing up without him.
And I think it was what we can call Selfish and Unfair. He thought about no one but himself. What would work for him, what was better off for him, what was easy, what was convenient. I think I’ve ran out of feelings of hatred for him because I never expected anything from him. I coped up with it convincing myself that some families aren’t completely the same and no families were alike. I grew up thinking that families are supposed to be like DNA, a very distinct genetic combination. So there, with that in mind, I fully convinced myself that he isn’t around the house all these years because our family was unique.
Growing up, when I went to school, I never really felt our family was different from anyone else. I have been seeing father figures of course from relatives whom we lived with and I was just thinking that yes, they have fathers which are my uncles. I have no father around what’s the big deal? I have them around, knowing they are there and they are what you call father. It’s already fine. A-ok.
In school, the scenario changed. I was surprised how my preschool teacher would whisper it loud enough to another parent that I have no father. I overheard it, I paid no attention. I didn’t think it would matter. In my later school years we were then asked to write something about family, so there I wrote it there that I haven’t seen my father since I was in my mom’s womb. But I saw him like once every 2 or 3 years. He was like a genie who suddenly appears and yes expected to disappear.
It was when it is mentioned in class. Eyes grew big in surprise and they tend to be tact, well at least they try. They’d ask me what happened which I really did not know at that time, so I always tell them maybe they couldn’t get along. I mean it was an obvious dilemma that happens in marriage. I guess.
I always consoled them to stop consoling me. Convincing them that I am okay. They’d ask, how does your mom feel about it? I’d tell them, she’s fine with it. She even taught the three of us never to hold grudges against our father. Then their eyes grew big again. Seemed surprised of that fact. And I’ll add up saying It’s funny tho’ she would always ask us now and then every time my father’s name comes up. I remember she’d say, sounding like an inspector.. Are you angry with your father? I’ll be quite for some time. I’d look at her. So that would seem to be like my answer. Then she’d say, No don’t. Don’t feel that way towards him. I don’t want any of you to hold grudges against your father. After all he is your father. The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us: “Learn to forgive him” she adds. I’ll get silent thinking about her words. Trying to figure if she is right. And I think that I placed it in my head the whole time and forgot to feel anything bitter about my father. Growing up in church and my Mom’s advises, I found out it really is in the Bible.
Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
So after all my mom is right. I should let it go. I’m sure it was nth time harder for her do that, but then she choose to do what was right, not what she desires to. Unlike my father, who chose to do what he desired. I honestly haven’t talked to my father about this, we had not had the time to discuss this matter during his genie appearances which would last for an hour or so in every 2 or 3 years. Imagine that! He was like an eclipse. A possibility that could happen but which could vary from time to time. I believe he also had reasons which were valid for him at that time. I could never blame him so much. I mean, he’s not a kid I believe so. I still respect him for after all as what they always say, he is still my father. I would nowhere be in this world without him. I would never be who I am today if it weren’t for him.
So I think that explains why I do not feel any form of hatred and other bitter feelings toward my father. I have a God-fearing and awesome MOM. :))
I will never be no good because my Mom is the most awesome mom in the world :)
(Source: ohl-love-iz-equal)
